In my prior Unison Parenting blog, I talked about the five areas of development for your child: mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and social. I compared these to a gingerbread person, with each appendage representing an area of development.
Here's the problem: we're used to cookie cutter, balanced gingerbread person cookies. A child doesn't develop in perfect proportions. Each is more like an irregularly shaped amoeba.
Amoebas are shape-shifters. Much like the diagram with this blog, they not only have a blobby shape, but the shape doesn't remain the same.
I recommend parents to think of their child as an amoeba. Within the five growth areas, they will appear to progress or retract; they will shift shapes. They might show good judgment and mental development, then immediately turn around and have an emotional meltdown. But next month, they might control emotions better but make a really poor choice. Children, especially hormonal teens, are always shifting shapes, and this is unsettling for parents.
As a result, we wonder how this monster got into our house. But in reality, an amoeba has joined the family.
Parents should recognize that shape-shifting is in their child's nature and should not be surprised by it. In fact, parents should look for signs of change and take those as opportunities to stop down and get to know this new creature in their house. I give several examples in Unison Parenting of this phenomenon, in addition to the maxim, "Meet your child all over again every six months." Or sooner as needed.
An important unison parenting point is to align parenting partners with the changes you see and they see. This will reduce frustration toward the child and increase the possibility of working together to respond to the latest shape of the amoeba.
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