In my last post, I talked about entrusting your teen to other parents. Now I'll return to the younger days.
It is practically inevitable that you will entrust your elementary or preschool child to the care of other parents. It could be babysitting while you have a night out, or a play date, or a carpool ride, or a birthday party that you can't fully attend. (This post does not address daycare and nannies; we're talking about parents in your ever-widening circle).
We were blessed to twice move into neighborhoods where the next door neighbors had kids the same age - once starting at the preschool level, the other starting in the elementary years. In both cases, a wonderful free flow of children traversed between households. Doubly wonderful because we got to know the parents and saw eye to eye on many things.
Notice I didn't say everything. The advice of Laura Doyle, author of Things will Get as Good as You Can Stand, is "Know your deal breakers and anything outside of that, grin it and bear it." Good advice.
Get to know any parents that might be asked to supervise your child. If possible, visit their homes (a play date is perfect), get to know them, and observe their and their child's behavior and the safety of their home. The visit will either comfort or alarm your anxiety.
But the best way to know something is to experience it. Take the chance, then observe the results. What does your child say about the experience? What does the vibe feel like when your child is picked up or dropped off? What condition are they in? Tired, dirty, frustrated? Or bouncy, somewhat clean, and wanting to do it again?
You'll also want to get your child's feedback on the rules of the household.
This is a case where trial and error will let you know. Even a trusted parent friend can make mistakes, let you down, and have you thinking, "I don't believe we'll do that again." Don't blame yourself. It's an inexact science, and you have to keep trying.
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