By Cecil Taylor
Welcome to the Unison Parenting blog! I will be sharing concepts from my book Unison Parenting: The Comprehensive Guide to Navigating Christian Parenthood with One Voice, and how to apply them in your family.
A foundational concept of Unison Parenting is to create a framework or context in which your family operates. The framework leads to policies for behavior, consequences, and rewards. Having this context allows parents to address child behaviors to guide them onto right paths.
Our family of three now-adult children was governed by the Choices Chart. These were also known as the 7 C's, as every choices started with the letter C. They were: Chores, Cleanliness, Courtesy, Caring, Conforming, Church, and Classwork.
The children were taught the meaning and expectations for each C. For example, even as early as four years old or perhaps younger, a child can have chores that they perform for the family. If the C was not followed correctly, there were consequences, defined and posted by the parents. Over time, as the children grew, they were allowed to define the consequences themselves, creating greater buy-in to the system.
Rewards could also be given for exceptional behavior in the C's or in family values. Our family values included the Fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Family members could recognize others for specifically exhibiting these traits.
Rewards were given on a family basis using gold stars; the family, not the individual, won the award. The children could cash in stars for different family rewards such as a visit to an ice cream shop (for a small number of stars) or a trip to the amusement park (for a large number of stars).
This system allows parents to define right behavior. The child sees daily living in terms of choices, rewards, and consequences, mirroring how life often functions.
In my next post, I'll show how the framework addresses various situations.
For more detail on the Choices Chart, please pick up the "Unison Parenting" book at online or physical booksellers, or on my store at https://store.ceciltaylorministries.com/collections/unison-parenting
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